This post is about lobsters. Seriously.

There are some people who always seem negative and continuously look for conflict. Walk away. The battle they are fighting isn’t with you – it is with themselves.

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Technically, it’s about using lobsters as a metaphor. Got your attention though, huh?!

Today I’m going to let you in on a little insight into the life of Jeremy and myself. I am a very soft hearted, emotional person who takes people’s opinion of me seriously. I do my absolute best at everything that is put in front of me, and I can get hurt if people try to harm my reputation or put down what I’m doing. Jeremy is the polar opposite. He has been told he wasn’t good enough his whole life. You want to be an officer and a pilot in the Air Force? Nope. You want to be a captain on Denver Fire? Nope. You want to get a Master’s to further your education and help your future? Nope. This seemed to fuel him more and make him work harder, where it would’ve probably crushed me.

When Jeremy and I first started dating, he told me this story. His mindset is much different than mine, and he can more easily take out the emotional side. This is where the lobsters come in.

I don’t even remember the story that I was upset about, but I was hurt by something that someone said about me. Jeremy told me they’re just a lobster. I looked at him like he was crazy, so he had explain the whole thing.

The sole reason people do most things in their life is due to trying to progress themselves. It might be for their profession, their home life, for their kids, but everyone has a reason for doing what they do. Other people see this success and either join in celebrating with you and help you on your journey, or they get jealous and try to bring you down.

If you have never seen lobsters being cooked fresh, they are dropped together into a pot of boiling water while they’re still alive. They purposefully leave the lid off knowing that they will pull each other down. Now, if the lobsters were smart they would climb up each other’s backs building a little chain and simply climb out of the pot. However, they get greedy by what other lobsters are doing. When one lobster tries to escape by climbing up the group, the lobsters at the bottom of the pot will literally pinch on and pull them back down into the pot so they all die together.

This is the biggest analogy possible for people in your life. If people would work together, celebrate successes, and help when needed (or in other words, use each other’s backs to all successfully climb the hill), everyone could get out alive. Sadly, most people are lobsters. They see other people succeeding and instead want to drag them down to die with the group. This could be in the form of gossip, spreading rumors, blowing things out of proportion, tattling about things to get you in trouble when they could have come to you directly, or holding grudges over silly things.

What you need to realize is that these people are lobsters. They are in your existence to test your willpower. Will you overcome their negativity, or will you rise above and prove that you can do it regardless of their resiliency to bring you down? That’s where the cream of the crop will rise.

REFLECTION:

Are you a lobster? If so, what is your reasoning for doing so? Some people do this and don’t even realize it, but once you get the thought in your head you’ll think of it every time you wish ill, gossip, or try to bring someone down. Learn to recognize it and grow your own character. What are ways you could help that person, or at the least remove yourself so you aren’t the one harming their future. How can you cheer for them instead? What might their reasoning be for wanting to improve their life? Think about it from their point of view.

Do you have lobsters in your life? Think of them as a stepping stone. They’re pushing you to be better than you even thought you could’ve, even if it’s simply to prove them wrong. Don’t sink to their level. Don’t argue to prove your point. That’s what they want….the conflict and the drama. Stay true to yourself and other people will realize who you truly are and see through their negativity.

Recognizing these people in your life helps you find the true friends who are really in your corner. It helps shape the ones who are going to be with you for the long haul. They see your tears and they comfort you instead of telling other people. They know your weaknesses and they spend time helping them to become strengths. They love you for who you are and they know that you would be that same person for them. These people can be found at your job, outside groups/clubs, hobby activities, family….but we know we are surrounding by them all day. Focus on those people. Give them your positive attention and let the negativity take care of itself.

Are you a lobster, or are you a lifelong tribe? It’s your choice.